Friday, 2 October 2009

the xx - the xx

For a band that has been so highly praised with the release of their new album, it is hard to comprehend how such a boring album could slip through the greasy fingers of respected reviewers.

Dubbed as one of the most exciting bands of the year, they just sound bored. Infact, this piece of turgid “music” is barely worth even note. The only reason i am continuing to listen is to provide a slightly more different review. This is painful. I hope you’re appreciating this.

The vocals sound as if they didn't want to actually make music and all they value in life, is the ability to sigh, because, clearly, they like to sigh. The whole album is one big musical sigh.

Whether I’m missing a trick or completely deaf, i cannot really pick out anything interesting about this band, apart from.. No, i really can’t.

Just imagine if Joy Division couldn’t play instruments, so just depressive people, clicking fingers, bashing drum machines like they’re slapping some unlucky listener with roadkill, while letting their arm flop down meaninglessly onto guitar stings. Actually, its a bit disrespectful to compare this repetitive release of rubbish to a successful, internationally renowned band. So fill in you’re own depressive band here ............................

Audience participation, thats the key - and possibly what ‘the xx’ have forgotten. Yes, people are actually going to listen to this, sadly, but lets face it - probably only the once -if they haven’t fallen asleep or lost the will to live.

Undoubtedly you’re fed up with my winging so i may end up being slightly hypocritical with my views on this band, so let me define precisely why they’re crap:

1.vocals are boring

2.minor guitar inputs are repetitively boring never gets going

4.everything is boring

5.tempo is pretty non existant

6.occasionally a drum beat comes in, only slightly, as if its afraid to disrupt the wholely depressive feel

7.everything is boring

Usually i’d quote a nice lyric or two, but they’re aren’t any. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with slow music, but this is just terminally dull. Actually its not terminal, its like its clinging onto life and should probably just be put down for the sake of everyone else really.

Words are probably not enough to sum this lot up so have a little listen for yourself, just a little one, and tell a close friend of relative if you are, so they can keep an eye on your stability at all times.

See you later, I’m off to listen to Blur.

Album Rating 1/10

Top Three Tracks:

1.They all blend into

2. one monotonuous

3. piece of waste of your life


  1. Pretty legend review there Samuel, despite the spelling mistakes - Tina did laugh so hard her sock fell off, and that has got to be a lifetime achievement fulfilled in itself. Lol. Good luck for the next one - do BBC! Pleeeeeeease. I'm dying to hear you either rip them to shreds or fanatically proclaim your love for them. It has to be one or the other. Please.

  2. your numbered lists in the above review actually made me lol. did you see them on jools holland? they looked so bored. i thought one of them may even've been asleep. the xx have been completely over hyped. gadzooks.

  3. hello, i just remembered a time where i read this review and completely agreed with it, that was an awfully bad time. i can't beleive i wrote the above comment, i am disgusted with myself. i also can't comprehend what took a hold of me when i typed 'actually made me lol' ugh. may i point out, i hadn't heard the whole album at that time ... anyway, by now you are probably wondering what the point is to this comment, if there is any. and there is: i was just wondering, if, after you'd calmed down a bit from writing the above review (haha, soz) have you listened to the album again? like, properly listened to it? (i'm not saying you didn't properly listen to it the first time, but have you listened to it, just, like, by itself, focusing just on the beautiful sounds they're making?) if so, have your opinions changed? i'm only asking because A) i'm rather bored. B) i've been listening to it on and off since i first purchased it and it is truly great. C) i agree with most of your other musical views and opinions that i've read and i don't understand why you don't like 'xx'. so yeah, i was just wondering if you had changed your mind about them... or not... haha.

    sorry if that comment made me sound like a bit of a fickle pretentious twat, i just don't understand how people can't like them. okay, i'll stop there.