Tuesday, 22 December 2009

It's been a good year for...

It's been a good year for...

Candi Staton
(The one who sang You Got The Love)
Who hasn't covered this? With Kasabin, The xx and, most notably, Florence covering this in one way or another, i can imagine its going to be a pleasant christmas in the Staton household, as she goes skipping down to her local building society with a lovely royalty cheque.

The Other One from Pet Shop Boys
A Brit award, a Brit performance, a comeback album and a christmas song. Not bad considering all he does is stand behind a keyboard and flap.

Calvin Harris
Since he was a young boy, he's always wanted to appear on television, with a fruit.

Josh Homme
He just wants to do everything, doesn't he? Produced a hit record, formed a geriatric supergroup and i hear he is now just putting the finishing touches to "Queens of the Stone Age the Musical" (Starring Josh Home).

Kurt Cobain
Considering he's been dead for over 10 years, he's not done bad by bringing out a new DVD. A live performance at that. Celebs, they'll do anything for fame.

HOWEVER, it has not been a good year for all.

It's been a bad year for...

Beardy-Keyboardist from Oasis
Someone took his band away from him and he's not sure where it is.


Simon Cowell

Merry Christmas.

Saturday, 12 December 2009

I owe this to myself

Ok, i give in. Ill regret it if, in a few years time, i didn't do an end of decade top something-or-other. So heres a brief one of 2009 at least...

10. Discover - LP
The talented one out of Vampire Weekend, the keyboardist - naturally, and a mate wrote this just to prove they were not just preppy college kids just playing barre chords. So, inbetween barre chording, in the mean streets of NY, they created this. Just imagine a brand of 'poppy' RnB, but good?

9. Graham Coxon - The Spinning Top
While the others were busy writing songs for animated asian-looking characters, trying to be politicians, or simply making cheese, Coxon owed it to himself and Blur to remain a little bit sensible and write something genuinely good. Telling the life story of a man, birth through to death, its an interesting concept and he pulls it off well. I also have to write a composition on 'birth, life and death' so thanks for the inspiration 'Gra'.

8. Jamie T - Kings 'n' Queens
Woah, Jamie T - he's cool isn't he? He's probably the kind of guy who stands up on buses and doesn't hold on. Yeah, Jamie T - he's cool. The album? - Yeah, it's cool.

7. Franz Ferdinand - Tonight
Come on, write something with a bit more energy next time - do something new, in the meantime, 'Ulysses' is an excellent song. Not as good as the previous albums but still 'alright'. They could do with being a bit more cooler though. Mr Treays?

6. Noah and The Whale - The First Days of Spring
The title track simply encapsulates this. Written after splitting up with Laura Marling, his girlfriend, Charlie Fink takes all of that emotion and writes a fantastic, string-saturated album filled with feeling. Thus proving that the 'difficult' second album doesn't have to be so difficult with the right material, and a band that will do anything you say..

5. The Cribs - Ignore The Ignorant
Crap title, good album. I prefer it that way. All of Razorlight's have good album titles... I digress. Bringing in a new, non-related, member of the band in Johnny Marr proved not to be a krass, pathetic attempt at being 'mainstream' but was quite worthwhile after all. It was a splendid attempt, and, although too many of the songs have blatant 'The Smiths' intros, an extra guitar seems to have come in handy.

4. Calvin Harris - Ready For The Weekend
Oh Lord, its not a band with guitars. Crucify him from a generally indie-laden list. He's bloody awesome. Fantastic live, he brings it all together for this album. Yes, he's a complete idiot, but at least he writes good music as well (I hope you're reading, Ian Brown).

3. Bombay Bicycle Club- I Had The Blues But I Shook Them Loose
That took too much effort to write out the title, let alone a review. They hate their band name but probably like their music, otherwise they should probably reconsider doing what they're doing. Not to be confused with bike riding Indians, the band take a step forward, after finishing school, and string together some wholesome-sounding songs. Bright things to come.

2. Kasabian - West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum
Frankly, they deserve this for the album name alone. Already writing album number four, Kasabian proved they are now the biggest band in Britain with a psychedelic trip filled with arrogance, a retro-feel, and quality songwriting from Pizzorno. And a brief appearance of Noel the Impaler.

1. Humbug - Arctic Monkeys
I don't need to go into too much detail here, I've already got a review of this. But its good, very good, and Turner's grown up - which is condescendingly patronising, i know, coming from a student. Had it been released a few years ago it could make it's way into my top albums of the decade, but it's release being so close to the end of the decade would make it's appearance less outstanding.

Sunday, 6 December 2009

Top Five Artists of 2010

Caught you out a teeny tiny bit there didn't i? Yes, after reading many "Top Ten Albums of 2009" (some of which are good, yes) I thought I'd snazz it up a tad.

Now I'm no 'Indie Kid' - I look rediculous wearing sunglasses and I'd probably make Phil Jupitus look good wearing skinny jeans - but here's my top five for two thousand and ten:

5. Wolf Gang
I first heard "King and All of His Men" on NME and thought he was a cross between Ewan McGregor and a modest Robbie Williams (the latter of which I'm aware is an oxymoron). A strong pop act with solid songs to match, if he gets the air play then he's there..

4. Soft Toy Emergency
These guys have got it all: the look, the tunes and the performance. With sessions at the BBC and an album in the making, we can expect to see these break through any time soon

3. The Drums
Who hasn't tipped these for big things? But it's true, the snowball of followers is getting bigger and bigger, and moving faster and faster, and if they keep writing sounds like 'Let's Go Surfing' then they're sure to hit the big time

2. Kasabian
Kasabian? - i hear you question - but they've already released their album? - i hear you answer. Yes, but you wait until they headline everything going next summer and properly replace Oasis as the biggest band in Britain

1. Noel Gallgher
Forget Liam's attempt at Oasis Part Two, Oasis's main songwriter is due an album next year and, given over 15 years experience writing top quality tunes for Oasis, we can expect nothing less than top quality tunes for himself. With this, Noel will earn himself a place with the true British greats of songwriting: Lennon & McCartney, David Bowie, Elton John, and, the great, Andy Abrahams.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Intuition Onlineee

Good news!
My first proper I've-not-published-this-myself post took to the internet this month (December) courtesy of intuition-online.co.uk. Nothing spectacular but a teeny tiny review on Yves Klein Blue.

i need more followers, invite your friends and their friends and their friends.


Friday, 27 November 2009

Why are bluebells decreasing in Britain?

No reason for the title. No, there is a reason. I typed "W" into the box and that came up. I thought i'd keep it.
Right. Its been a while hasnt it? - Been writing for an actual website - will link once its up - so thats where i've been currently channeling my energy into (without sounding too much like Most Haunted)
Planning on doing a top songs/albums of the decade so to keep the interest here's what I've been listening to recently at this very cold, winter moment:

"Julie & The Moth Man" - Kasabian
B-Side for Underdog and opener in their current arena tour. This is a fantastic song and even better live. Almost better than Underdog. Not quite, but the unlikeliness of the situation makes it more exciting to proclaim.

A Certain Romance - Arctic Monkeys
With ...Dancefloor being a contender for song of the decade I've been listening to/playing along with this an awful lot. Good tune.

Crazy In Love - Snow Patrol
Ahh its a good'un. It should be terrible but just isn't. Ok, Gary Lightbody hasn't got the thighs or the bootyshaking just yet - but thats, quite frankly, reassuring. The original definitely is not top song of the deacade (NME)

The Universal - Blur
After releasing a mini Live album in The Sunday Times I had to get it. It includes the Hyde Park version of this, which i was at, and i still get tingly when i hear Damon shout "Londaaaan" before the last chorus. Classic song.

There you have it, and I've also discovered the bold button

Do you like it?

Monday, 9 November 2009

Be Here Now and Daylight Robbery

Theres' a downside to having a cashpoint in your village now. Especially next to a Tesco. "Ahh Arctic Monkeys on the front of Q" was among the first of my thoughts as i entered the new Tesco Express. "3.90?!" was the next thought as i turned out 57p i had hiding in the depths of my new coat. I like the new coat. Its got a furry hood. Which is pretty cool. I feel like a mid nineties Gallagher if i put my hands in my pockets and swagger a touch. So i had to go and withdraw money to then go back into the store to buy the mag. Tesco 1 - 0 Sam.

Along with that, being the cool kid i am, i bought some sort of cinnamon bun as well. I used the self service as its generally more exciting than being faced by a middle aged bloke with dodgy hair. Shock horror as the afore said cinnamon bun was not on the selection menu, the only other option was to choose a muffin, which was about 20p cheaper. Tesco 1 - 1 Sam. This won't be the end, Tesco.

Ive had a bit of an Oasis week, listening to Definitely Maybe and Morning Glory in one day on friday i decided to tackle the almighty beast that is Be Here Now. All in all its a fantastic record. A highly underrated one (how could anything follow the previous two albums). Some of Noel's best songwriting is on show here, with a 'rocky' theme supported by generally good melodies and catchy choruses ('I hope, I think, I know'). There is one major problem with this album though. Due to their heads exanding at such a big rate (the popularity of the previous two albums) they decided not to use a producer. This was a bad idea. All of the songs are over 4 minutes, with some hitting the 9 minute mark. Now, a producer would have sat them down and said, "look lads, this is a bit daft". And as we do get fed up with hearing "all around the world....", the songs could have done with a little cropping. Saying that, i get as bored as the next vaguely-interested-in-music person with 2 minute pop songs, and, although they are slightly repetative due to the length, the songs are of good enough quality to carry it along.

All in all an album which had all the quality, the potential, but less delivery.

Top Tracks

1: Stand By Me
2: My Big Mouth
3: Magic Pie
4: I Hope, I Think, I Know

Monday, 2 November 2009

Looking Forward

Oasis have split up, beginning the conclusion to "The Noughties". Although they will be remembered as one of the greatest bands Manchester, no, Britain, has created, I am glad they are gone. In truth, they were a 90s band, creating little quality music in the last ten years. They lasted that little bit too long and, inevitably, a split was always on the cards. I was lucky enough to see them, not just that, but their last ever appearance, at V Festival this year. And as much as they were 'good' (it was a greatest hits evening) they did not match the performances of Killers, for example.
What we need is to look to more new music, instead of clinging on to the "rear guard" of the music industry. All in all, 2009 has been a fantastic end to to the musical decade, with both Kasabian and Arctic Monkeys producing their best albums, and, in turn, two of the best albums this decade. As far as reunions go, I think Blur have got it right, they have reformed, played a few festivals, two fantastic gigs at Hyde Park and now they are going their separate ways again. Their legacy remains unspoiled by a tepid attempt at another album.
Don't get me wrong, if you want to go on popularity, one band has managed to reform and be successful. Take That. Okay, they are no indie-kid's first choice on the iPod, but they are now arguably more successful that they were in the nineties.
Jarvis Cocker has denied reports Pulp will reform. Good. Far too many bands have reformed, eyes fixed on big money deals available, then produced poor records. Spandau Ballet are one of the 'latest' bands to do so. Releasing an album consisting of their "greatest hits" re-recorded and a few new songs. All they need to do now is name it "Rip-Off" and watch the money come rolling in. Because thats what it boils down to. All manner of 70s and 80s bands have reformed (some more than once!) for the cold, hard cash and that does not bode well for the future.
If all of these old bands are getting the press, then where do they new bands stand? The old bands were once new bands, and the reason they were 'successful' was because they got the attention they deserved and they were new and exciting, different. So, by reforming you are losing that one thing that made you in the first place, originality. Hypocrits.
New bands, who are as exciting now as these old bands were are going to get nowhere without the support they are lacking. If they don't get enough support, they will just fade away and Radio One will just become a constant playlist of reworked 80s tracks, intertwined with anecdotes from Chris Moyles. And who wants that? *Shudders*

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Bombay Bicycle Club - I Had The Blues But I Shook Them Loose

When writing about something it is important, maybe vital, that you read around the subject in order to have a full understanding of what you're talking about - or blag it. So when i clicked on Bombay Bicycle Club (BBC)'s "About" section on their website, and found out they hadn't written anything, the only option i had left was to blag it. Yes, actually use my brain to string a few intellectual sentences together by myself. I can do this, I'm a big boy now.

If you're even just mildly interested in new music you would have undoubtedly heard about BBC for a while now even though this is their debut album - they've released a few singles here and there. This is mainly due to the fact they have only just finished school. Then, they faced the difficult choice between studying Geography in-depth, or becoming world wide superstars. Maybe. Its a toughy, and as much as rocks can sometimes consume me with excitement i would possibly have to side with the "rockers".

Enough small talk, lets take this further. The Album. In a nutshell its pretty darn good. The opener "emergency contraception blues" - obviously about how music from the Deep South can be used as a suitable method of preventing pregnancy - is a fantastic way to start the album and as it builds you can sense the atmosphere that would continue throughout. It is predominantly guitar based but does not really fit into any label safely. What i found is that often the songs would take a completely different direction after a couple of minutes and then come back to the original variation when they got bored, or tired perhaps. This also compliments the fact there are no set "guitar solos" with often the whole band going-off-on-one.

Because it is all quite different, following no set pattern, the songs have a tendency to blur into each other making one of the best points of their music, actually their possible downfall. Because of its unpredictability, occasionally it is hard to grasp which song you are actually listening to! Instead of recognising lyrics, you recognise guitar riffs and hum along to those rather than the lyrical melody. In this sense the guitar riffs become an essential part of their songwriting and just as important as the melody.

'Evening/Morning' provides a bassline 'solo' that even Muse would be pleased with. Again the style changes half-way through and provides that difficult what-song-is-this-again? feel that I'm not sure if I completely enjoy. Ahh unpredictability - who'd have thought it? Overall, the vocals are strong and the atmospheric sounds could be compared to the noises Joy Divion/British Sea Power/Editors have been making/made over the years.

Just one problem.
I'm a little bit bored with it. Possibly hypocritical after stating how varied the sounds are, its a hard one to define, i need a catchy melody. Because the songs tend to 'tart about a bit' it never really reaches a climax, they almost sound like over-produced demos. On a more positive note: the drummer has an amazing name: "Suren de Saram". He's not too shabby at drums either, but don't let that distract you from his name now. Back to the music. Damn i wish they all had cool names, would lighten this up a tad.

"The Hill" is the most striking song on the album and delivers a fantastic catchy chorus. Ah. That little adjective. "Catchy". They need to take that word and spread it all over there work with a metaphorical butter knife.

It's not going to be a massive success, it didn't chart brilliantly, nor have the singles made any impact on the charts - but when have indie bands taken notice of that? When their monthly phone bill comes round, thats when. Point being, they could have done with a hit. Considering the build up to this. But its a good solid start, and with a bit of development could become an important band before too long. A good guitar album.


Top Three Tracks:

1. The Hill
2. Cancel On Me
3. Ghost

Sunday, 11 October 2009


teeny tiny update folks.
good week all round, letter published in NME, I'm claiming moral high ground here, and blog mentioned on radio. I am now the single most publicized teenager in North West Norfolk. Looking forward to Mr Hudson + Calvin Harris this week and Rev + Makers next. Been tweeted By Jon McClure telling me he'll play requested B side at after gig show in car park as its my birthday. Top Stuff.
need to get to town soon to get new cds so can review some more, need to up the rate at which i do them now, and as i am not a fan of downloading - im so 21st century it hurts - i need the actual thing.

peace and love.

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

The Black Box Revelation - Set Your Head On Fire

Mainland Europe. What is it with you and producing crazy alternative bands? Take crazy Swedish boys ‘The Hives’ for example. Yes only one example, but it’s hard to think of another - its hard to think of another Swedish band actually without swearing ABBA. So thats 50% of Swedish bands are crazy, and the others are called names such as Benny and Bjork. I make that 100% crazy. You crazy country Sweden, you.

I digress.

Take a small hop, skip and a jump away from Sweden and you might end up in Belgium. Thats where these crazy alternative rockers dwell. Yes, I’ll admit, Belgium doesn’t exactly shout out “CRAZY ALTERNATIVE ROCKERS” as much as it might shout “CHOCOLATE” or.... everything else Belgium is famous for... but these guys must have refused the family business of becoming a chocolatier - as all Belgians obviously end up as - and discovered that outside of Belgium, there are things like guitars and a music industry.

What is clear, is that there are definite influences from The Hives and flashes of Primal Scream appear throughout. Its quirky guitar riffs and bouncy drum beats are what really keeps this album running throughout with “love in your head” contributing to the “heavy britpop”/”heavy Stone Roses” feel.

“I think i like you” is a surefire hit and is a very impressive, catchy tune. Although, the video is slightly less impressive as it consists of the lead singer walking down a subway and...walking a little bit more, until he turns around and.... walks back. Beyond the mediocre videography - not sure if thats a word, but its staying - is a light alternative bright album, that, largely, doesn’t bring an awful lot new to the world. Just Belgium - they love it so much its been in the Belgium “Ultratop” charts for 85 weeks now. Told you they loved it.

In a bid to let everyone know just how m.e.n.t.a.l. they are, they thought it would be a marvelous idea to write something equally crazy as their homeland is. Entitled “Set Your Head On Fire” - they blatantly thought up the craziest thing they could and wrote a song about it. Told you they were crazy.

You might not take an awful lot from this as its same old same old feel runs throughout, and is, probably, disappointingly unable to divert anyones eyes from the murderous tones of “La Roux” - why oh why must we listen to someone who calls herself “The Ginger” and all of whose songs sound like Pong sped up - but what you will get, is a good ole, 40 minute jangly guitar fueled shout. Enjoy, all you closet crazy alternative Belgian/non-Belgian, rockers.

Best Song: I Think I Like You

Rating 6/10

Friday, 2 October 2009

the xx - the xx

For a band that has been so highly praised with the release of their new album, it is hard to comprehend how such a boring album could slip through the greasy fingers of respected reviewers.

Dubbed as one of the most exciting bands of the year, they just sound bored. Infact, this piece of turgid “music” is barely worth even note. The only reason i am continuing to listen is to provide a slightly more different review. This is painful. I hope you’re appreciating this.

The vocals sound as if they didn't want to actually make music and all they value in life, is the ability to sigh, because, clearly, they like to sigh. The whole album is one big musical sigh.

Whether I’m missing a trick or completely deaf, i cannot really pick out anything interesting about this band, apart from.. No, i really can’t.

Just imagine if Joy Division couldn’t play instruments, so just depressive people, clicking fingers, bashing drum machines like they’re slapping some unlucky listener with roadkill, while letting their arm flop down meaninglessly onto guitar stings. Actually, its a bit disrespectful to compare this repetitive release of rubbish to a successful, internationally renowned band. So fill in you’re own depressive band here ............................

Audience participation, thats the key - and possibly what ‘the xx’ have forgotten. Yes, people are actually going to listen to this, sadly, but lets face it - probably only the once -if they haven’t fallen asleep or lost the will to live.

Undoubtedly you’re fed up with my winging so i may end up being slightly hypocritical with my views on this band, so let me define precisely why they’re crap:

1.vocals are boring

2.minor guitar inputs are repetitively boring

3.it never gets going

4.everything is boring

5.tempo is pretty non existant

6.occasionally a drum beat comes in, only slightly, as if its afraid to disrupt the wholely depressive feel

7.everything is boring

Usually i’d quote a nice lyric or two, but they’re aren’t any. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with slow music, but this is just terminally dull. Actually its not terminal, its like its clinging onto life and should probably just be put down for the sake of everyone else really.

Words are probably not enough to sum this lot up so have a little listen for yourself, just a little one, and tell a close friend of relative if you are, so they can keep an eye on your stability at all times.

See you later, I’m off to listen to Blur.

Album Rating 1/10

Top Three Tracks:

1.They all blend into

2. one monotonuous

3. piece of waste of your life

Friday, 18 September 2009

Muse - The Resistance

You know Muse right? The posh twats that dance around, pretend they're aliens, look for aliens, write some music about aliens, then look for more aliens? Thought you did.
They've probably written a few songs you like, the popular classics maybe, like "Starlight", "Supermassive Black Hole", "Plug In Baby" or even "New Born". They've undoubtedly written some songs you hate (that one off the third album? Don't worry, we all thought it was shit) and thats the reason why when people ask if you like Muse, you shrug your shoulders, shuffle your feet and sigh a feeble "Meehh".
I wont lie, if you didn't like Muse before, you won't like them now either. There is more of the same "Knights of Cydonia" riffs (Unnatural Selection) and those harmonies you either love or want to force down the throat of Freddie Mercury, right where they came from.
And there's a good place to start. "United States of Eurasia" has been called, rather lazily, the new "Bohemian Rhapsody". Just because there's one teeny-tiny chord change that was COMPLETELY lifted from any of Queens entire back catalogue, doesn't make it an altogether rip off. You really have to put those thoughts aside and look at this song from a purely Muse aspect. Its a song Bellamy has written and fits into Muse's Bell-curve nicely.
There is one issue, OK he might have composed a symphony to end the album with, but, its all pretty much what Muse have been known to do and what has become synonymous with Muse up until now. Ahh, that Freddie Mercury chord change is back again. And again. Sod it, its a poor attempt at a massive stadium anthem.
There is hope though as 'Resistance', my favourite on the album, has a brilliant pre-chorus that really sparks up and stands out, and the opening track, 'Uprising' includes what Muse really enjoy, a bass line that can only be described as 'Bombastic'. But, the album as a whole really is struggling in a quick sand of flappy string choruses and we've-heard-it-all-before melodies.
Hmm, its a hard one to make up. What is promising to hear is, 'I belong to you', which sounds as if Bellamy, and the rest of Starship Muse, have visited Club Tropicana on Star Trek Fancy Dress Night. Its bouncy rhythms and basslines provide a rare light note to the album. But don't worry classic wailing Muse fans, the middle part to this is about as intergalactically cheesy you can get. Ahaa! Club Tropicana's back in action and somebody is soloing on a bass clarinet.
Thats what you do get with Muse, they are different, incomparable to most, if not all, bands. But you do wonder if they're doing it a bit too much. Its enough to make everyone want to shout: "Stop guys, you're having too much fun, just write a pop record and be done with it".
But yes, as if you quite couldn't pick it up earlier, Matthew Bellamy has written a small symphony at the end of the album. You obviously weren't shouting loud enough.
Its all well and good for Muse to keep doing what they're doing, don't get me wrong, the music's fine and its better than listening to more 'Saturdays Aloud' or whatever they're called but, all in all, once the initial "Oh My God, its Muse" has died down, and you've regained slight consciousness, its not brilliant.
I think they need a new direction, to try something a bit newer. Have they thought about covering Jay-Z on a quartet of Ukuleles for example? No they haven't. Well, i can't prove that. They might have done and just not told anyone. Probably for the best. Watch this space Ukulele/Jay-Z/Both fans.
Obviously I'm being rather silly. But you get the message, and the message is clear. Its alright, a nice little listen, but a teeny-tiny bit bland
Come on Muse, give us something new.

Album Rating: 7/10

Top Three Songs:

1. Resistance
2. I Belong to you
3. Unnatural Selection

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Aahh Humbug

Why people insist on dumbing down the noise Arctic Monkeys make amazes me. No really, it does. Three albums in and as they produce musically their finest record, people still sigh and ask if you've got "When the Sun Goes Down" on your iPod. Not that thats a poor record, not by any standard, but the point is not enough people are willing to give new stuff a go.
There are probably two types of Arctic Monkeys fans, and 'Type 1' are probably not fans anymore. They took one look at their haircut and wondered why they still aren't writing "I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor Part Two". 'Type 2', more than likely, love Humbug. Its a progressive record, taking their iconic sounds and running away with them to a desert in the US of A.
And why bloody not? If Oasis have taught us anything, its that an artist should move on, keep pushing boundries - they didn't incidentally. But those Monkeys did. By God they did. The lyrics are still there and so are the guitar lines (although greedily Turner now insists on playing most of them during live shows) but what i personally am most encouraged to hear, is the rythms. Its true, none of us could play the drum beat to Teddy Picker on our thighs. Don't deny it, you've tried. Matt Helders has really upped his game with unpredictable snares here and there and the odd cymbal just to keep you on your toes.
And thats the key thing with this album, its different, its edgy, but please, no, its not "heavy" or "dark" as all manner of reviewers are labelling it. You want "heavy" or "dark"? Go slit your wrists to the latest I-cant-even-think-of-a-heavy-or-dark-shitty-artist-because-i-dont-listen-to-shit single.
My Propellor contains raw energy which is slowly unleashed as the album begins to give away its secrets. It's almost as if you shouldn't deserve to just go and buy this album, you should have to work it out, decipher it note by note and piece together this treasure that Turner and co have buried.
Crying Lightning, although not the best song on the album, is a good ole bash which will please the fans who would have just bought the single, not even considering the concept of albums. No, i am wrong, they would have downloaded it illegally, by accident, looking for the latest Dizzee Rascal remix of "Mardy Bum". And before you ask, no, there isn't a Dizzee Rascal Remix of "Mardy Bum". As far as I'm aware. And no, I'm not going to look either.
Dangerous Animals provides another hook of a guitar line and i'd place a small bet that it could be a possible single, if i was a betting man, and a legal one at that.
Cornerstone provides the most "pop" sounding song on the record, but it is done with such well roundedness it seems as if the 'edginess' that has become associated with this album now has been put on at the end, to give it a final umphh.
And i couldn't let this moment pass without mentioning a lyric that teenagers all over the world are loving shouting: "What came first, the chicken or the dickhead?" Thus, just proving those little monkeys still have their edge and can still deliver punchy lines.
But, my favourite on the album has to be the beautiful "Dance Little Liar". Yes, those tree-dwelling mammals have delivered it again. What is evident here is that Turner is simply singing more. Gone are the days of shouting "I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor!" - oh dear, remember 'Type 1' Arctic Monkeys fans i mentioned earlier? Some of them are crying now.
But don't let that bother you, let the bastards cry because this is a stomping record and one which should be listened to many many times before making comment on.

Roll on record number four, but have they thought where to produce the next one? The jungle or the sea maybe? Or, how about this for an idea, the arctic? I'm laughing at the irony now. Inside. Deep inside.

Rating: 9/10

Top 3 Songs:
1. Dance Little Liar
2. Cornerstone
3. My Propellor